The darkness settles around the bench that is currently holding me above dueling mountain ranges, like silt slowly making it’s way to the bottom of a slow moving southern stream. The isolation here is tangible, but not in a sad way. It’s a beautiful Isolation, the kind that I’ve learned to seek over the past ten years…

As my eyes slowly adjust to the pitch dark, perception begins to shift towards the faint lights in the valley of these two magnificent… to the lives of people so far below the current altitude, where there is no awareness to the beauty in which they currently exist… Only trouble. They have no idea of the majesty that awaits them not even ten minutes away, the bustling, hustling, and constant rustling of every day life keeps them separated from the serenity that we are meant to have. And it’s a shame.

But as the sound of personal exhaling envelops the surrounding area- I begin to wonder how many of the people that I care about actually take the time to show appreciation to those around them, and step back from the bustle around them and see the absolutely amazing time they’re living in and how beautiful the world is.

The feeling of isolation after you have just spent hours with friends.

The party has been “raging” now for almost 7 hours. Amongst the small group of friends we have assembled 30 or so of the smartest people I have ever met, and between the dueling games of Hackers against Humanity and Werewolf- there’s noone in the house who isn’t laughing and/or accusing a partner of absolute treachery.

The vilest of accusations spring forward from a game of Werewolf, you truly begin to discover who the skilled deceivers in the group are.

After the third game of HaH a smaller group of people break off and begin to discuss serious issues. These are the issues that are serious to this Giant, I typically don’t waste time with trivial issues, I enjoy getting to actually know people.During the discussion, which spanned two hours or so (which consequentially FLEW by), I found out several friends who I previously though I knew fairly well (socially, of course), struggled with depression and anxiety- which tends to be a fairly common combination of feelings within the community.

Far too often, we in the Information Security industry get wrapped up in the truly surface minutiae as a means to build “surface” relationships for means of information exchange or trust building. Social Engineering in our community has taken on a more insipid role, subverting even the basic communal structure of the group- even without those of us within it realizing that it’s taking place. The social engineering construct has basically taught people to get maximum yield from any given interaction with the minimum amount of effort. There are many situations in which socially engineering a group of people would be the best approach, but if there is one thing that this Giant has realized is valued over almost anything else in this community- it is honesty.

Now, honesty doesn’t necessarily mean having to bear your soul to every person that you meet in any given day at an event. Instead look at it as an opportunity to get to know the people around you, do you want to know the real person or the one that they created JUST for you? There are nearly 55,000 people in our industry right now, conservatively… Each of them has a story, and each one has something new to teach you about yourself and the industry in which you operate.

You can unlock a world of possibilities in learning and being able to help those around you, just by making the decision to be a little bit more honest each time you talk to someone. It’s not easy… but nothing worth doing ever is.

Everyone was thirteen once.

Some of us had the benefit of being the second or third child of our parents, yet some of us had to completely feel everything out on our own. No one gets everything right, but some of us get it wrong-er than others.

Boy Scouts was THE thing when I was younger. And I was pretty good at the whole camping, roughing it thing- had badges out the wazoo and did lots of extracurricular activities whenever I had the chance and wasn’t working. But then I discovered you. We were at a shared girl/boy scout event at Fort Morgan, and we ended up spending a week together. Getting into trouble, running to where we weren’t supposed to be, discovering new things, and inventing things altogether. Towards the end of the week, I realized that there was a strong chance that I would never see you again if I didn’t at least try to let you know that I liked you.

Liked You.

Ha. That’s one hell of an understatement. I had absolutely no idea why you had chosen to spend the week with me, when there were more impressive specimens of the male species to chose from. I had no idea because you were gorgeous, smart, hilarious and one of the few girls I ever met in Alabama that actually enjoyed reading. You had read books I had never even heard of.

Liked You.

The last day we climbed to the top of the arches facing the gulf and sat there for hours (after I got the random cactus pricks out of my hand with the help of your steady hand) talking about all sorts of things…

I still remember the awkward way you leaned against me while we watched the sunset, so we could be close but not fall off of the arch. It was perfect. You were perfect.

Finally we had to go in… And I found a way to tell you that I liked you. I used big words. Strong words. Words I had no idea the meaning of.

“I Think I Love You.”

Your only response was to giggle and say “okay…” and cease to talk to me.

But worse than that, you told everyone. Not just a friend or two, by the next morning- almost everyone in the fort had heard about my innermost feelings.

I had given you a part of me that was just for you, and you shared it with everyone.

The 2 hour drive back to town was full of men I respected shouting “I love you” to every passing car. And the laughter, every huck and guffaw which was emitted during that drive was directed at me. Because I had the gall to take a chance on someone I trusted.

I learned really quickly that very few people are worth that amount of trust.

And I couldn’t thank you more.

Smile.

A brilliant, vibrant greeting fills the room as you rush to embrace a dear friend, the time that has passed since you last saw them has been far too much. The joy which you feel upon human contact is far too much and something that isn’t a sensation you experience often- outside of hyper sexualized situations.

Smile!

The friend begins conversation while hugging and seems intent on breaking the hug, when the contact draws to a close- the conversation ends… However you can’t help but feel a faint sense of loss at no longer being close to someone you care about.

Smile.

Conversation begins to pick up.

“How’s work going?” They ask- and 25 minute diatribes ensue to discuss the latest intricacies of the newest exploit, the newest hardware, or god forbid the newest drama in the industry. Who’s seeing who, Who’s angry and why. Express your sentiments of regret or enthrallment at what they are signaling so they see you as sympathetic to their likes and dislikes. You feel your interest begin to slowly drain as it becomes evident that this engagement means there won’t be any substantive discussion. No hopes, No dreams, No fears, No Connection.

Smile.

The discussion wraps up and you find yourself wanting to discuss more, to find out about the person behind the thoughts, to figure out why things are happening the way they are. However, there are many other conversations your friend would rather be having with more interesting people than yourself. They find themselves wrapping into other conversations- and you’re left to find another friend to talk to. To get to know. To love.

So put on your best.

Smile.